Home > General Updates > Dear Bennett’s Molars,

Dear Bennett’s Molars,

You were clearly offended by my status update yesterday: “Dear Bennett, momma loves you so much, but if you could just cut these f-ing molars already, we’d all be a lot happier.”

I now know what happens when you piss off your kid’s molars and I’m here to offer an apology.

Look, I know it must be hard for you, being numbed by Orajel and Ibuprofen 80 percent of the time. I’m not an advocate for forced medication, but I’ve found myself in a bit of a pickle…either let my sweet baby turn into a screaming, sleep-depriving maniac, or numb you little bastards.

Ok, that was harsh. I take it back. Do you prefer “Pearly Whites?”

We’ve all said and done things we’re not proud of. I know it must be a hard life. I’m sure you feel unappreciated. After all, you’re going to live a short life of service, then it’s all “make way for the permanents.”

Wait, you didn’t know you would be replaced? See, there I go again.

Don’t cry teeth…you’re going to have a blast in Bennett’s mouth. Did I tell you the part about the Tooth Fairy and sugar? Part of the deal is that you can be all ruined by candy, cake and whatnot. I mean, carpe dentum, right?

Ok, here’s the deal, you give my son a break and make this teething thing a little easier and maybe I’ll rub a little whisky on you to “ease your way.”

Seriously molars. Let’s work together on this. I’m sleep deprived, you want to get all drunk and sugary.

We can BOTH win if we work together.

Humbly,

Bennett’s EXHAUSTED mommy

P.S. You either cooperate or so help me you’ll be so numbed by Orajel, pain killers and teething rings, you won’t remember your name when you reach the surface.

P.P.S. Also, you can forget about that whisky and sugar crap. What kind of mom do you think I am?!?!

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